The Silent Mourning: Understanding How Cats Grieve and Supporting Them Through Loss

Losing a beloved companion—whether a person or another pet—can be heart-breaking for both the owner and their feline friend. While cats are often viewed as independent and reserved, they too experience grief. Understanding how cats express sorrow and what we can do to support them during these tough times is essential for any pet owner. This post examines feline grief in detail and offers practical advice for helping your cat cope with loss.

Understanding Feline Grief

Grief in cats, much like in humans, can show itself in several ways. While kittens may not exhibit immediate signs of mourning, adult cats often undergo notable behavioural changes following the loss of a human or fellow animal. Common signs of grief include:

• Withdrawal: Grieving cats may isolate themselves, opting for quiet spots where they feel safe.

• Loss of Appetite: A cat may stop eating altogether, leading to rapid weight loss. Studies indicate that nearly 30% of cats show reduced appetite after a loss.

• Vocalization: Many cats express their grief through increased meowing or crying, which may indicate their distress or desire for affection.

• Sleeping Patterns: You might notice your cat is sleeping more or having trouble settling down. Stress and anxiety can disrupt their usual sleep routine.

  
  

Research shows that cats form deep attachments to their human companions and other pets. This strong bond can lead to feelings of loneliness when separation occurs. The grieving process in cats mirrors that of humans in some aspects, including stages like denial and sadness. For example, a cat may appear distant at first but gradually express their feelings through physical and emotional changes. It's vital to recognize these early signs as they can guide us in addressing our cat's emotional needs.

How Cats Grieve

Although cats may not show their grief in the same manner as humans, acknowledging their emotions is crucial. Some signs of grief in cats include the following:

1. Withdrawal or Isolation: Your cat might hide or avoid human contact, preferring to stay alone as they process their feelings. While some cats seek more attention, others might withdraw and isolate themselves. They might hide more often or seem disinterested in interaction. This behavior is similar to how some people deal with grief, preferring solitude to process their feelings. It's important to give them space but also check in regularly to ensure they're coping.

2. Changes in Appetite: A grieving cat might eat very little or excessively. While a cat can theoretically survive a few weeks without food if they have access to water, a cat can become seriously ill and develop a potentially fatal condition called hepatic lipidosis after just 2-7 days without food. This will requiring immediate veterinary attention and may become fatal so if your cat refuses to eat, do make a visit to the vet who can asses and help.

   
   

3. Increased Vocalization: More frequent meows or cries could indicate a cat's need for assurance as they process their grief. Grieving cats might become more vocal, meowing or crying more than usual. This could be their way of expressing their sadness or searching for their lost friend. If your cat is usually quiet but suddenly becomes chatty, it might be worth considering the reasons behind their increased vocalization. It's their way of communicating their distress to you. Reassure them and give extra cuddles if they wish.

   
   

4. Altered Sleeping Patterns: Grieving cats may sleep excessively or struggle to sleep well, which can affect their overall health. Cats are known for their love of sleep, but a grieving cat might sleep even more than usual. While it's normal for cats to sleep up to 16 hours a day, a grieving cat might find comfort in sleeping longer than usual. This could be their way of escaping the reality of their loss. Keep an eye on their sleeping patterns and ensure they're still engaging in some play and activity.

5. Avoidance of Favourite Spots If your cat suddenly avoids places they once loved, it could be a sign of grief. Cats often associate certain spots with the presence of their lost companion. For instance, if they used to cuddle in a particular chair with their friend, they might avoid it now. This avoidance is a clear indicator that they’re reminded of their loss whenever they see or go near that spot.

6. Seeking More Attention Some cats might become more clingy when they're grieving. If your independent cat suddenly wants to be by your side constantly, or if a usually clingy cat is even more so of late, they might be seeking comfort and reassurance. This is their way of trying to fill the void left by their lost companion. Offering them affection and attention can help ease their grief.

7. Change in Grooming Habits A grieving cat might neglect their grooming habits, resulting in a dishevelled appearance. Cats are typically meticulous groomers, so a change in this routine can be a significant sign of distress. Conversely, some cats might over-groom, resulting in bald patches. Both behaviours are responses to stress and should be monitored closely. The cat may be stressed over the loss itself, through picking up on an owners behaviour, or through a change in routine. It's important to understand your cat will pick up on your sadness and any change in routine. Although we sometimes can't hide our own pain, we must try to stick to the usual routine to cause minimal disruption to the cats day to day routine.

   
   

8. Lethargy and Lack of Playfulness If your usually playful cat seems disinterested in toys or activities they once loved, this could be a sign of grief. Lethargy and a lack of enthusiasm for play can indicate that they’re still processing their loss. Encouraging them with new toys or interactive play can help reignite their interest and lift their spirits.

9. Changes in Litter Box Habits Cats are creatures of habit, and any change in their litter box behavior can indicate emotional distress. A grieving cat might start having accidents outside the box or might stop using it altogether. This could be their way of expressing their grief or seeking attention. It's essential to address any changes promptly and consult with a vet if necessary.

10. Increased Scratching Some cats might start scratching more frequently when they're grieving. This behaviour can be a sign of stress or an attempt to mark territory, especially if they shared their space with the lost companion. Providing them with additional scratching posts and ensuring they have plenty of outlets for this behaviour can help alleviate their stress.

    
    

11. Behavioural Changes: You might notice that your cat plays less, becomes more aggressive, or seeks more cuddles than usual. These fluctuations reflect their emotional state. Cats might exhibit searching behaviours, wandering the house as if looking for their lost friend. This behaviour is a poignant reminder of their grief, as they try to understand the absence of their companion. While it's heart-breaking to watch, it's important to be patient and provide them with reassurance during this time.

    
    

A cosy spot for a cat, providing comfort during a period of mourning.

Helping Your Grieving Cat

As pet owners, we play a vital role in helping our cats cope with their grief. Here are some practical tips that can support your feline friend during this tough period:

1. Provide Comfort and Reassurance: Create a safe environment where your cat can retreat and feel secure. Try to maintain their daily routines, as a predictable schedule can be highly comforting for them.

   
   

2. Spend Quality Time Together: Engage in gentle interactions like petting or brushing. Just being present can help reassure your cat.

   
   

3. Maintain Their Normal Routine: Keeping feeding, playtime, and daily activities consistent can reduce anxiety. For example, if your cat is used to breakfast at 8 AM, stick to that time.

   
   

4. Encourage Play: Gentle play can help lift their spirits. Use toys that your cat enjoys while allowing them to engage at their own pace.

   
   

5. Provide a Stimulating Environment: Make sure your cat has access to toys, scratching posts, and perches to keep them engaged. Interactive puzzles can also offer mental stimulation, which may help distract them from their grief.

   
   

6. Consult a Veterinarian: If your cat's distress continues or increases, it's essential to consult a veterinarian. They can advise on dietary changes or medications to alleviate anxiety or sadness, but this should be a last resort. Like humans, there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and certainly no time limit. They will find their closure and move on. Allow them the time and space they may need, seeking veterinary help should it begin making them sick or they are in danger of dangerous complications - such as refusing to eat for a period of 2-7 days.

7. Spend extra time with your cat: Offer gentle petting, soothing words, and cuddles.

   
   

8. Maintain a consistent routine: Keep feeding and play times the same, as cats thrive on routine.

   
   

9. Offer a safe and comforting space: Ensure your cat has a cosy place to retreat to.

   
   

10. Be mindful of changes: Avoid major changes in the household environment, as this can further stress your cat.

    
    

11. Consider pheromone diffusers: These can help calm stressed cats.

    
    

12. Monitor for signs of distress: Watch for changes in appetite, grooming, or behaviour and consult your vet if needed.

    
    

13. Don't rush to replace the lost cat: Allow your cat sufficient time to grieve before introducing a new cat.

    
    

14. Remember to grieve yourself: Allow yourself time to mourn the loss of your pet and seek support if needed.

    
    

15. Consider memorializing your cat: This can help you and your remaining cats process the loss.

    
    

A serene outdoor space that provides peace, helping cat and owner during times of mourning.

Moving Forward Together

Recognizing that cats experience grief is an important step in supporting our feline companions. By observing their behaviours and emotions, we can provide the necessary support during these challenging times. Grief is a natural part of life for all living creatures in their own ways, and while navigating it can be tough, our love and attentiveness can aid in their healing process.

Every cat's journey through grief is unique, and it may take time for them to adjust. With understanding, patience, and empathy, we can foster healing and strengthen our bond with our beloved cats. Together, we can navigate the silent mourning and be there for each other during our shared loss.